Why the Cubs are bad for America

As the Cubs get ready to take on the Dodgers in Game 3 of the National League Champion Series, we should all hope that that the Dodgers can finish up the job they started and quickly end the Cubs season.

 

I say this not as a bitter White Sox fan, but rather as a concerned American and citizen of the world. For you see, nothing good happens when the Cubs succeed.

 

Don’t believe me? Consider this:

 

A few days after the Cubs won the World Series last year, Donald Trump was elected president. Less than a year into his administration, the Republican chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee says Trump “may be setting the U.S. on the path to World War III.”

 

Prior to last year, the Cubs last won the pennant in 1945, when the apocalyptic force of the atomic bomb was unleashed over Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

 

How about in 1938 when Gabby Hartnett hit the famous “Homer in the Gloamin’”? A great year for the Cubs, no doubt, but also the year of the Munich Agreement, inexorably paving the way for World War Two.

 

Well what about 1932 you ask? Well that was the same year the Dow Jones bottomed out and the Nazis won 32 percent of the vote in German elections culminating in Hitler being named Chancellor.

 

The Cubs had another good year in 1929 and the U.S. had another bad one as the stock market crashed and the Great Depression began.

 

1918 saw the Cubs in the World Series; it also saw 30 million Americans die in the span of six months thanks to the Spanish Flu.

 

Mark Twain died in 1910 and Japan annexed Korea beginning 30 years of suffering for the Korean people. The Cubs were also swept in the World Series by the A’s.

 

How about 1908? No World Wars that year, right? True, but Japanese emigration to the U.S. was banned under the Gentleman’s Agreement of 1907. There was also another apocalyptic and still unexplained phenomena with the Tunguska event.

 

The Cubs won their first World Series in 1907 and more than 500 people were killed in mining disasters in West Virginia and Pennsylvania.

 

1906 was the Cubs’ first trip to the World Series, it was also the year of the San Francisco earthquake, which I can only assume would have been much worse had the White Sox not won the only cross-town World Series in Chicago history.

 

I suspect some people might read this and think “Correlation does not imply causation.”

 

True, but can we risk it?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s